


Idiot's Guide to You've Gotta be Kidding Me, The

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, Episode: s02e01 In the Shadow of Two Gunmen Part I, Episode: s02e02 In the Shadow of Two Gunmen Part II, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-26
Updated: 2006-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-31 03:45:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "You've never kissed me in the White House before."





	Idiot's Guide to You've Gotta be Kidding Me, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Walking the halls of the West Wing at 7:30 in the morning, Leo McGarry took a few seconds to breathe. It was over. They arrested members of West Virginia White Pride and the conspiracy to kill Charlie fell apart. The President would be able to return to his duties early next week, though the doctors were discouraging heavy activity for at least a couple of months. The Vice-President was not playing mind games; they would be able to handle what needed to be done without any skirmishes. Most importantly, Josh was going to live. He was not out of the woods yet but the doctors were optimistic in their prognosis. Countless hours of surgery and they met their goal. Now Leo just needed to check on someone else.

“Hey.”

CJ almost jumped out of her skin. She had been taking a few moments to rest on her couch and he had disturbed her. The eyes that looked at Leo were sleepy but still frightened; he didn’t know if any of them would ever be the same again.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

She sat up a bit as Leo walked in and closed the door. He sat on the table across from her. CJ was still a bit dazed.

“What's happening?”

“I just got back from the hospital. The President and I were able to talk to Josh for a little while. They sedated him again.”

“Is he…? Leo…?”

“He is going to be alright. His recovery won't be easy but he is healthy and very lucky.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “Its gonna be alright.”

“No, its not.” She tried to stop the tears but couldn’t. Leo went to comfort her; CJ held up her hands to keep him away. “Don't, OK?”

“OK.”

Her tears and sobs subsided after a few minutes and CJ took a deep breath. She stood, walking around the room a few times. She had to get herself together…there was another briefing in an hour. Over the past 36 hours or so, she had managed to squeeze in maybe five separate hours of sleep.

“I have got to be ready to brief. I can't fall apart.”

“Everyone deserves their time to fall apart.” He replied. “Sometimes you have to, to get to the other side.”

“I don’t have time.” She said through clenched teeth.

“You do. I need you to come with me.”

“Leo, I have to brief in an hour.”

“Henry will be doing the briefings for the next 24 hours.”

“What! You are going to pull my legs from under me right now. How dare you!”

“That is not what I am doing.”

“What the hell do you call it?”

“Giving you a break.”

“I am fine.”

“You're not.”

“It would be in your best interest to never attempt psychoanalyzing me.”

Leo stood too. He knew he had to tread lightly or she would blow up. Over the course of their relationship he had been, once or twice, on the receiving end of CJ’s wrath. He never wanted to be there again.

“One of your closest friends almost died. You were shot at and for a moment, you thought you lost a lot of people you loved. You are not OK. You're going to be OK, but I'm not putting you in front of the glare of the cameras today. I'm being your boss for a minute and refusing to let you go out there.”

He came closer and noticed her neck. It stopped him in his tracks.

“What happened to your neck CJ?”

“What? Nothing.”

“You have a long scar on your neck; I think that is something. Oh my God.”

“It’s fine. Sam pulled me down and I lost…I lost my locket Leo.”

“I don’t care.”

He took her into his arms and held her against him. CJ clung to him and for just a moment was able to lose herself in his embrace.

“I would rather have you in one piece than a locket. I can get you a million more.”

“I promised to never take it off.”

“Hey, hey, let us call this extenuating circumstances. Maybe Ron Butterfield can find it at the scene or something. I’ll ask him.”

“Sam found it. It must have fallen off or been torn off when he pulled me down.”

“Sam…”

“Yeah.”

“He will never know how grateful to him that I am. Is the chain broken?”

CJ told him she would take it to be fixed.

“If you are benching me, what am I supposed to do all day?” she asked.

She was back to business and Leo felt the cold breeze. He decided to brave the elements.

“I thought you would never ask. There is a limo out front. Its going to take you to the Ritz-Carlton and you will have a day off. I scheduled a massage for one o’clock. You can get some sleep, or order room service. Hell, you can buy dresses from Nordstrom if you want. The staff is on very strict orders…whatever Ms. Cregg wants is hers.”

“Are you serious? I can buy dresses?”

Leo smiled, handing her the plastic keycard. He got her purse from the hook and put it on her shoulder. Then he kissed her.

“You’ve never kissed me in the White House before.”

“Don’t get used to it. Go, 24 hours of rest and relaxation await you.”

“Alone?”

“I have business here and then I have to see the President. I promise to stop by in the evening.”

“OK. I'm going.”

“Good. I wish I could always get you to be this agreeable.”

CJ smiled and Leo returned it. She practically ran to the exit.

***

CJ moved the massage back from one to four, stripped naked, drank two flutes of Cristal, some sliced honeydew, and fell face first into the gigantic bed. There were pillows everywhere and she held one close as she snuggled under the down comforter. Her sleep was deep; her dreams black. She was not plagued by gunshots and the sounds of people screaming like she was at the White House. She didn’t smell gunpowder and see Josh covered in blood. There was so much blood; how could one person bleed so much and live?

Waking suddenly at two o’clock, CJ lay there for a while and examined the blocks on the ceiling. Then she took a long shower and called room service for a light lunch. In a Terry cloth robe, the Press Secretary finagled with the satellite radio until she found Joni Mitchell. Who could remember the last time she was able to let go with some Joni Mitchell? 

She read Cosmo while eating a baked potato with all the fixings. She did her toenails while singing Harry Chapin songs. She cried to Harry Chapin songs. She called her father to say I love you. She assured her father she was alright and rushed to hang up. She called down to the salon to see a variety of hair color samples and seriously considered becoming a brunette.

At four, Sean the masseuse arrived and gave her a deep tissue massage and hot rock treatment. They talked about Rob Lowe movies, Smiths songs, and the chance of the Euro increasing international corruption.

“So what brings you to DC?” he asked.

“You're kidding right?”

“Nope.”

“Are you new to town?” 

“I just moved here three months ago. My fiancé got a great position with CNN. We used to live in London.”

“Oh. I work in politics.”

“Really? I would have never guessed. I had you pegged for a newswoman. You look so…honest. Nice, you know.”

“Thank you. Some of us can be that.”

“Well, with people like you around I may have to regain some trust in the government.”

CJ smiled and gave him a big tip. She ordered lime sherbet and ordered Hideous Kinky on pay-per-view. Halfway through she fell asleep, waking when she felt someone in the room. Her screaming alerted people as far away as Istanbul.

“CJ, CJ, whoa calm down. Its me.”

“Oh my God. When did you get here?”

“Ten minutes ago. I was going to turn off the TV and then wake you.”

“That is the second time today you shaved some years off my life.” She curled up on the couch and Leo joined her.

“Well how about I make it up to you?”

“I'm listening.”

“Dinner, some good music, and a lot of cuddling.”

“A lot?” CJ climbed in his lap.

“A lot, a lot.”

She straddled him, kissing him hard on the mouth. Leo moaned and quickly released her from her bathrobe. His hands moved up her naked back as the kisses became more passionate. CJ pushed his jacket off; he sat up to shrug it down his back and off his arms. They took a moment to breathe before Leo zoomed in on her neck. She had sensitive spots there that the Chief of Staff loved to nip with his teeth.

“Mmm, Leo.”

“You are so beautiful. I love you so much.”

CJ gasped, drawing his face close and kissing him again.

“Make love to me. Show me how much you love me.”

This was one of those times Leo wished he could carry her to the bed. She had six inches and twenty years on him; it was never going to happen. That didn’t mean he couldn’t make it romantic. They kissed their way to the bedroom and once inside, CJ took over. She undressed him and gave every piece of skin her undivided attention. Leo rolled them over in bed, his hands stroking her, his mouth caressing her.

“I love you Claudia Jean, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They needed to feel each other. They needed to make sure that their skin felt the same and their words sounded the same after this horrible incident. The lovemaking was slow and passionate. CJ gripped his back as Leo brought her to the brink twice before they went over together. Afterward he lingered inside her, filling her body with the promise of his love that need never be spoken.

CJ looked at him as he lay on the bed again. Leo’s eyes were closed and his face peaceful. If she did know him as she did, she would have thought him asleep. He reached for her hand, squeezing it before holding it to his lips.

“For a split second I thought I lost you. I thought you were dead and I died inside CJ. Another day was not going to go by without me telling you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry if it complicates things. I'm sorry if I…”

“Shut up. It complicates everything, but it doesn’t matter. I love you, and none of that other shit matters. Just don’t get any ideas, OK?”

“What do you mean?” he sat up on his elbow.

“This doesn’t change the situation Leo. You're married.”

“I'm not married!” he exclaimed. “I shouldn’t be yelling at you. I'm sorry. I know my divorce is not final but I loved you before Jenny left me. I want to enjoy being able to tell you that now.”

“I’ll give you a little while Leopold. You deserve it.”

He put his arms around her and they kissed.

“Tomorrow I will take your locket to the jewelry store and have it repaired. I want it back around your neck.”

“Me too. I feel lucky right now to have a neck.”

“Don’t talk like that. We are all going to be OK.”

“Promise me.” CJ bit back her tears.

“I do promise you. Now enough sadness, the past couple days have been rough. Tonight we chill, isn’t that what they say.”

CJ laughed and Leo feigned hurt.

“Maybe they said that a decade ago.”

“What do they say now?” Leo asked.

“I don’t know, but its definitely not that. Weren’t we talking about plans for tonight?”

“Right.” He kissed her nose. “Chinese food and some good music…no CNN. We’ll cuddle and pretend we are different people.”

“Mmm, I like it already. Then what?”

“A bath. Hotel suites have nice, big tubs. After that we will make love again and I get to hold you all night.”

“I'm afraid of nightmares Leo.” She whispered.

“I'm going to be here baby. I’ll hold you and I won't sleep until you do. Nothing is going to hurt you when I'm here.”

It sounded so Rhett Butler but CJ liked hearing it anyway. She held him close and buried her face in his chest, letting the light sprinkling of hair tickle her skin.

“Can we skip straight to the bath?” she murmured.

“Food first.” Leo said with a smile. “I'm an old man and I have used up a lot of calories and energy. To not feed me would be a violation of the 8th amendment.”

“Well we can't have that.” she took his face in her hands. “I love you Leo McGarry.”

“I love you too. Lets have a nice, quiet night in.”

CJ nodded, handing him the phone to call room service. Leo took it from her and kissed her.

“Tell me you love me again.” He said.

“Uh uh, we don’t want you getting too full of yourself.” She climbed out of bed. “I want the chicken dumplings OK?”

Nodding, Leo watched her walk away. He was so lucky that nothing had happened to her. He was lucky she loved him back. Now he just had to figure out what the hell was next. This situation couldn’t last forever and he needed CJ and the job. There had to be a balance and he was a smart enough man to find it.

***


End file.
